Our English word for “Love” does us no favors in showing the type or amount of love given to any certain person, place, or thing. Our word “Love” covers everything from loving hamburgers and fries, to clothes, cars, our jobs, our families, and our spouses. The only way to determine how much love is being shown in a situation, is to be familiar with the person and each object.
However, from the Greek, we see there are 4 different and distinct types of love. Each one carrying a significant different story as to what or how someone or something is being loved.
Let’s take a brief look at each one and see how they relate to our relationships.
AGAPE love – the God kind of love. This is the type of love, which loves even if the love it shares, is not reciprocated. It is an unconditional, self-sacrificial love that gives and gives. This type of love is shown, without any strings attached. Agape is the type of love shown by God in John 3:16.
It is not based on feelings. Rather it is based the joy of doing and is an exercise of the will, with its results being a deliberate choice.
PHILEO love – this is a brotherly or friendship type of love.
It is a love that takes pleasure in another person. It is a reciprocal love. Phileo love flows from the common interest or desires between two people.
Husbands and wives should share the common interest of this type of love, that is being friends. It should be the foundation for love in a marriage.
The English word Philadelphia (The city of brotherly love) comes from this root word.
STORGE love – it is a romantic or emotional type of love. Expressions of this type of love include hugging, kissing, and holding hands.
It is also shown in the cherishing of one’s kindred. Including, the tenderness type of love shown between parents and children.
EROS love – this is sexual or passionate love.
From this Greek word we get the English word “erotic.”
God designed this type of love to be fulfilled in marriage between husband and wife. They are commanded to fulfill each other equally with intimacy/sexually in 1 Cor. 7:1-5. The husband is to please the wife sexually and the wife is to please the husband sexually. When only one is pleased continually, then resentment has a place to grow. This usually results in feelings being hurt and a lack of desire on one’s part to participate in the bedroom of love.
Husbands and wives are commanded by God to show each other love, which includes all these different ways.
When there is a breakdown in any of these areas of love, there are strong disagreements, which are sure to follow.
However, even though it takes two to tango (figure of speech), the success and/or failure of the marriage is given into the husband’s arms, from God. So the continuance of love expressed in the marriage is wrapped up in the man’s ability to protect and nurture the love for his spouse. Just like our salvation is totally wrapped up in Jesus ability to save us from our sins, when we say, “Yes” to Him, Eph. 5:25.
If things have gone awry in the marriage, he must wrap his spouse in “Agape” love. That is, unconditional love, self-sacrificial love until the other 3 types have a chance to bloom again. But man cannot do this alone! He needs help and the “Agape” love from the Lord, to surround and show him what he needs to do.
Finally, look at this beautiful scripture…Pro 18:22 (ESV) He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.
#HoldOnToYourGoodThing #WivesAreABlessing #HusbandsOperateInLove
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